Oct 31, 2018

Lakeside Thoughts || Part One


Several weeks ago, I went on a camping trip on a nearby lake with some dear friends.  We camped, laughed, hiked, and explored a world without tight schedules, mounds of clutter, and technology.

And sometimes, I still miss it - the waves beating against the shores, chattering girls as we slept in the nighttime world, the fresh air that reminded us of how free life was.  We returned home and accepted normal life.  Yet I remember.

So I recorded some of the tidbits of our time.  My goal is to give you a glimpse into the serenity of lake life and get your thoughts flowing.

I don't want to leave you thinking that the beauty I share is beyond reach.  My desire is to reveal questions so that we can pursue answers.  Let's desire Christ's beauty and the life He has prepared for us.  And let's chat together in the comments - what are your views on the questions I raise?

Here's part 1.


  
So little realness.
It's dark, nearly night.  The campfire burns even though we've finished dinner and cleared away the remnants.  As one team washes off the dishes, the rest gathers together under the trees.  Seats are opened.  We draw near.

And then we sing.  Some are hymns and others are light-hearted songs of praise.  We clap our hands, shut our eyes, and sing a capella because there on the beach, we don't have instruments.  Only the wind and the waves are the accompaniments to our songs as we stand on the shores.

When the last notes fade, we sit again and turn on head-lamps.  The darkness vanishes as Bibles are pulled out.  Someone shares while we follow along, taking turns reading.  Sometimes, a younger child wants her own turn, and we slowly follow along in our Bibles with smiles.

And then each group creeps away to their tents.  We find ours and, after the girls finish their own chattering, we gather close.  Their eyes meet mine as we talk about what we read.  They pull out notes and share their thoughts.

Voices die down.  We slip back into the night.  Soon, we're on the beach again, laying against the hard rocks.  I fold a hat under my head as a pillow.

The sky is a dark near-black color, but a million stars light it up like a ballroom.  A friend points out the Milky Way.  I feel small, watching the universe above me.

And then we see shooting stars.  First one, then another.  It's like they're dancing together, and soon we lose track of how many there are.  One girl says she saw more than twenty, others are nearing forty.

But I don't count, because with every meteor I want to scream and laugh and point because it's beautiful and amazing and God put it there for me to see.  My heart is pounding faster than those stars.  Together, all of us lay on the beach and admire His handiwork, scream our excitement, and act like little children because we are savoring life that much.

Then I come home.

It's cloudy, so I can't see the stars.  But it's not the same anyway.

My schedules begin.  I hurry to keep up with things, but I miss the connectivity we had.  So many families in our culture live their own lives, and they eat and laugh and talk together.  But somehow, they don't have a connected mission like we had on the lake.  They're distracted and preoccupied.  Maybe it's okay.  Maybe it's not.

I wonder what it would be like for all Believers to have a common goal.  To just fellowship and be together.  I wonder what it would be like if families shared among themselves, became vulnerable, or maybe just stood together and sang under the night stars.

Why is our culture so individualistic when being connected draws us together?  Why aren't families living like teams but instead clash and argue and live without love?

Why don't communities sing and read the Bible together?  Why don't they share truth and their thoughts and just sit together quietly when they have nothing to say?

We're so busy, and it steals our realness.

Does it have to be that way?


Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah
- Psalm 46:10-11

~♥~

Oct 24, 2018

Keep Burning, Keep Trusting


Dear Friend, let me tell you a story.

You're in a room with a roaring fire.  Wisps of orange mix with yellow and red in the flames as they leap high under the rough, brick mantle.  You can smell bits of smoke mixed with the faintest hints of cedar wood.

But as you watch, a man hurries to the fire.  Bucket in hand, he pours it onto the flames, and they hiss, fighting against his work.  When the bucket runs out, he hurries to refill it and returns, dumping gallon after gallon of water into the flames.

They don't die.  Somehow, with every drop that sizzles in the burning flames, the fire only grows.

So you turn, walk around to the back of the chimney where you can see the rear of the fire.  And there another man kneels.  Gently, he pours a curved pitcher into the base of the fire and deep, black liquid flows - oil.

Two fighting forces.  One side fights to kill the fire, the other slowly builds it higher and stronger.

The oil caresses the flames even though they can't see it.  Still, the fire roars at the man with the water as he tries to quench its heat.  Some flames die, others quiver under the water's touch.  But they never go out.

And you realize something.  The fire doesn't know, but it's kept alive - not by its own strength but by the oil that's gently poured into its roots.

(story adapted from John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress)





That fire represents our faith.  And we're under attack.

The enemy has cold water to douse our hope, and, honestly, we're helpless against his schemes.  What can a small fire do against so much water?

Yet we're not alone.  Christ is always there being our strength when we are weak.  He is our shelter in the storm, our oil when we burn low.  Even if all else fails, if God is for us, who can be against us?  (Romans 8:31)

That was my life last week.

On Monday, I had plans for what great posts I would write up for this blog.  I had a whole week ahead of me - a week to accomplish goals, grow stronger, do things I never did before.  But that Monday morning, it all shattered.

A friend died.

He was like a brother to me and my little brother's best friend.  After fighting cancer for 10 months, our friend went to be with Jesus.

It should have been a time of celebration - Heaven is a wonderful, beautiful destiny, and we are thankful for our friend's victory over sickness, death, pain.  But we also felt broken.  It sounds so selfish to miss someone who's in such a better place, but we did.  We mourned.  We hurt.

And then I thought I healed.  I moved on, tried to forget, and busied myself with other things.  If I was that fire, it was like the enemy gave me a break as he refilled his bucket.  I thought I was okay.

But on the day of the celebration of our friend's life, it all crashed down again.  I remembered every memory, every thing that I missed with our friend being gone.  As we worshiped together during his memorial service, I tried to sing along, but the words came out in broken sobs.

There were so many questions:  Why?  If I had faith, why did it not work out like I prayed for it to?  Didn't God care?  Didn't He love?

With them slowly came answers.  I felt that pitcher of oil pour into my dying flames.  And even though I still don't understand completely, I am not extinguished.






Yes, God loves.

As I walked outside in bitterly cold air, my heart matched the dropping temperatures.  But I looked up.  A monarch butterfly flew across my path.  I turned away, kept walking, but remembered.

Later, sitting at my desk, my eyes wandered out the window.  Sunlight pierced through a green field, edged in the brown of autumn.  Somehow, the light brightened the world and made it glow.  I stopped everything I was doing and embraced it.

And so many other little reminders:  yes, God loves.

I don't understand why, but He still loves.


For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, not height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 
- Romans 8:38-39

He doesn't only love us, but He has a purpose in everything - even if it's not the purpose we imagine or dream.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
- Romans 8:28

As I felt the fresh pain of loss, He brought an idea into my mind.  I'm a writer.  In my current WIP, my main character experiences death firsthand.  She is alone, weak, scared.  Life turns upside down in ways she doesn't expect.  And she wants to give up.

As an author, I hurt with my characters.  I care about them.  I cry when I make them suffer.

But I know the big picture.  In the end of her story, my character will be stronger.  She has a beautiful, wonderful ending to her story, and she just needs to trust me to bring it to pass.

It's the same with us.

I don't know why things happen the way they do, but God has a purpose.  The end of our story is beautiful - Heaven with Jesus forever.  Even though right now it hurts, we have a good inheritance (Psalm 16:5-6).  We might never find out why, but we can always declare,

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
- Job 1:21

 I believe God hurts when we experience pain (John 11:35-36, Hosea 11:3-4,9 read the surrounding chapters for full context - so rich!).  But sometimes, that difficult time is what helps us grow most.

And when we're hurting, we can remember that there's Someone behind us, fueling our flames with oil and never leaving us nor forsaking us.

There's so much more I learned from this time of mourning; I'm so, so thankful for it.  I'm learning to love others more.  To savor my time.  To rejoice.

But dear friend, what buckets of water is the enemy throwing on your flames?  What trials do you face, and how can I pray for you and be an encouragement?

You are never alone, and you are so loved.  God has a plan.

Weak and wounded sinner,
Lost and left to die,
O, raise your head for Love is passing by 
Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus and live
...
Sometimes the way is lonely,
And steep and filled with pain,
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain 
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live
- Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)



  

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40:31

(ps) A lovely author wrote a post that blessed me today in this topic.  Click to read God's Masterpiece by Aleigha C. Israel.

 ~♥~

Oct 9, 2018

You Have a Purposeful Calling


God has a purpose for you.

When I was little, that purpose was on the forefront of my mind, but I often searched for it in the wrong places.  I dreamed of what I would do when I grew up, who I would be, how I would change the world.  When friends came over, we'd ask the same question.  "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

And I had a lot of answers.  At first, I wanted to be a mom with ninety-nine daughters and one son (poor guy, I know).  Then my ideals matured to the idea of becoming a clown.  Sadly, I was never funny, nor did I like being the center of attention.  New dreams came and fell.  I'd be a jockey riding in horse races.  Or a missionary sharing the Gospel with cannibals in unknown lands.

But now I am a little older, and God has different plans for me.  I know a portion of my calling - to share His overwhelming beauty through writing.  In the future, I desire to raise a household of children for Him.  It's a good purpose but not entirely complete.

There's a calling so much more important.



   
If you know your future purpose or not, it's really not a big deal.  Because right now, right here, God has something bigger in store.

Before the creation of the world, He knew you (Jeremiah 1:5).  He knew your fears, your weaknesses, the way you'd fail.  And He has a perfect plan for you.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
- Jeremiah 29:11-13

We all want to know our future, and the Lord has it all planned out for us perfectly.  But there's something more important.

Our calling is to call upon Him, go and pray to Him, and seek Him with all our heart.

No matter what job we have, what house we live in, what our dreams are, that's our calling: to passionately want Jesus more than anything and seek Him with all.

When Jesus left earth, He gave us our purpose in life.

And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.  He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.  And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues;  they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."
- Mark 16:15-18

It's not that our specific calling or occupation isn't important.  As Christians, what we do isn't less important; it's actually way more vital because the way we live can make a difference for eternity.

You could have any job or dream, but your calling is the same: to be ambassadors of Jesus to a lost world (2 Corinthians 5:20).  In a word, our calling is Jesus.

You are not a label.  When I was young and searching for my purpose, I wanted a label.  I wanted something to present as who I was.  But it would be selling ourselves short to find a profession, give our lives to it, and think that's all there is to it.

The real label that should define us isn't "college degree" or "profession."  Our definition should be Christ.

So we live every moment for Him.  I write in order to honor Him.  Maybe you babysit or dance or write essays or grow gardens or perform in movies.  Do it for Jesus.  We might not know the next step or what the future holds, but we know Who holds our future.  So live it for Him.

I had to make that decision this week.  After pressing on through school for 12+ years, I finally saw the end goal in sight, the day when I could be done, graduate college, and pursue what I feel is God's real calling for me.  And then things happened.  Classes weren't accepted, and I have another semester of work.

It's not my plan, and I don't like it.  But He has a purpose for me in these months, and I am choosing to rejoice in that.

Dear friend, live today rejoicing in Christ.  Don't worry about tomorrow, because He has a purpose for it.

And it's perfect for you.  Maybe not what you expect, but His plans are greater.

Don't wait to do hard things and live radically until you're an adult or until you reach a certain place in life.  Start being the person He has called you to be right now, and let Him take care of the rest.  He can write your life story better than you ever could.

My job right now might be taking college classes, but that can't hold me back from seeking Him with all my heart.  That can't stop me from pursuing the goals He has put on my heart.

You have a purpose.

My friend Jessica worded it perfectly, and I'll end with her thoughts, "You are chosen to be a child of God, first and foremost, and there’s always a place by His side for you. That is your purpose."  (read her post, What Does Purpose Look Like?)




   
So then, after the Lord had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God.  And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs.  Amen.
- Mark 16:19-20
 ~♥~

Oct 2, 2018

Live - and Love - Simply


I grew up living simply.  If I was inside, it was to get lost in a book or to finish school as fast as possible so I could go outside.  Out of the house, I spent every afternoon in imagination games with my siblings and friends.

In the creeks, we were Indians washing away our tracks to escape from the settlers seeking to capture us.  In the woods, we fled from orphanage keepers.  Playing tag, exploring unknown lands, we embraced the beauty of life God gave us.

And then we grew up.  Addition turned into algebra.  Stories turned into essays.

Life became complicated.

But I wonder if it has to be that way.


   
Maybe you noticed that I skipped posting last week.  I haven't done that in months.  But life has become overwhelmingly busy at times (college does that), and, yes, I fall short.

It's crept to other areas of life.  I can't write my sequel... because I'm busy.  I can't savor relationships, go outside to just leisurely enjoy life, take a break to simply love God.  Sometimes life is like that.

Ultimately, the problem comes down to our priorities, but there's another issue.  Life is complicated.  Taking college classes, having online ministries, starting Bible studies at Church, trying to keep up with everything - it's complicated.

So easily, I become burned out, tired, exhausted.  And I need to go back.

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6

Last week, I did that.  I grabbed my 4 year old sister's hand.  We imagined that we had an umbrella that could fly, and we flew to the creeks, through brushes, and up a hill.  We discovered treasures and put them in our museum.

Another day, we climbed trees.  How long was it since I last scrambled up branches, let my skin rub raw, and tottered above the earth, looking down on the ground from a new perspective?  When I tried to swing on vines (failing but enjoying the moments) and climb up just one branch higher?

I made dinner for my family.  Baking for twelve is time consuming, but I savored the evening and doing something I had missed while working on essays and academic papers.

And so many other moments.  Walking through a cave and treasuring the beauty of it.  Laughing and talking in silly accents, forgetting that I'm an "adult" and supposed to be mature and serious *cough*.  Grabbing a childhood favorite book and losing myself in its pages.

And remembering the simple truths about God too.


Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.
- Deuteronomy 7:9

The Bible may seem complicated, but I remembered what is stands for.  We were created in the beginning because He loved us (Psalm 139:13-18).  Despite our failures, He is our strength (2 Corinthians 12:9), and He proved that by becoming the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.  In the end, that love story will be complete when we are in His presence together, united (Revelation 22).

We can get consumed by so much, when it's all supposed to be very simple.  Jesus loved us with everything.  Why don't we do the same?  Why don't we love Him and others radically like that?

Let all that you do be done with love.
- 1 Corinthians 16:14

It's not about trying so hard to overcome our weaknesses.  It's about realizing that we have everything we need for life and Godliness, and that's in Jesus (2 Peter 1:3).  We seek Him, strive to become like Him, strive to Love like Him.

It's a relationship.  He loves me, and I want every part of my life to love Him in return.




  
I don't think life was meant to be complicated.  We can be consumed by so much - being healthy, doing all the right things, keeping up with life, writing that next bestseller - when life was meant to be much simpler.

Jesus.

Living every moment as a worship to Him.  Embracing the life He chose to give us.

O my soul, you have said to the Lord,
"You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You."
Psalm 16:2

And somehow, when I remember that, it's enough for me.

I'll forget and go back to those long college papers, draining afternoons, and busy schedules, but I want to remember that I do all that for Him.  To love Him.  I complete my assignments to honor Him.  I worship Him through ministries, through holding that crying baby, through taking a break to love my sibling.

I might not be able to spend my life in the woods like I did when I was young, but I can go back to that simple joy I had when I loved Him, loved life, and embraced it all with thankfulness.  

My friend, live simply.  And love simply.

For Jesus.




   
But Jesus called them to Him and said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."
- Luke 18:16-17
~♥~