Nov 21, 2017

Project Love || Remembering

I was taking a test.  My hand shook so much that I could barely sign my name.  The computer booted up, and my heart pounded as I waited for the instructor to sign me in.  And then it was time.  The words stared at me, waiting, watching.  Start this exam.

And then I was staring at a different computer screen.  This time I was trying to hold back the tears that burned in my eyes.  A friend typed on, telling me how happy she was to have a new baby sibling.  I pretended to rejoice.  She thought I was glad.  But the tears slipped down as I wondered why she had a baby when ours was never born.

Another friend was hurting.  Her daddy was dying before her eyes, and there was nothing they could do.  She had to watch her little sisters fall apart as their protector become too weak to go to work.  And then too weak to get out of bed.

The days passed on.  As a weekend rolled around, I found my face covered in stage make-up.  Actors rushed around me to their spots as my fingers grew cold.  There in front of me was the red curtain.  In one second it would open up.  Would I forget my lines?  Or do something embarrassing?  What if...?

But day turns around to night.  As I lay in bed snuggling under the warm blankets each night, I remember.

I see the testing screen, but I remember how God led me through and helped me pass the exam.  I feel the dull ache from past tears, but I remember that God had a purpose and brings healing.  I look back on my friend's pain and smile to think of the day when her father was healed and took the first step to complete recovery.  And I can almost hear the applause after a performance finished and feel the hugs from fellow actresses as we rejoiced in a beautiful success.

Because life is hard.  And it hurts.  Sometimes there aren't answers.  We fail or look silly or lose someone we love.

But remembering is so important.

Faith doesn't only come when we're free from doubt.  Faith comes when we choose to believe - to be loyal - despite our uncertainty.  

Last week I shared a verse that continues to ring true.

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord. 
- Lamentations 3:25-26

 This week and in the ones to follow, I am focusing on the area of prayer.  If we love the Lord with all our heart, won't prayer be a natural instinct?  Won't it pour from our lips as a response to a passionate relationship?

Step #1 is remembering.  Sometimes we must step away from life and fix our eyes upon Jesus.  We must choose to quietly wait for God and have faith even amidst the doubt.

My friend Sarah mentioned this in a comment, and how relevant it is!

It's hard to just pause to look at God's goodness in the midst of life, but it's important to do so... sometimes when we get really busy, or when we simply don't take time to dwell on His goodness, then it's good just to sit still and close our eyes and think about Him.

This is my challenge for you.  Let's think about His goodness and praise Him for His love.  Sing, or dance, or sit still, or just stare at the stars.  Whatever it is, I want to remember how God pulled us through the hard times.  When we were broken, He healed us.  When we were scared, He brought comfort.

And I'd be thrilled to hear from you, dear friends!  When has God been strong in your life?  What miracles or moments are especially sweet for you to recall?  If life is hard right now, are you going to have faith despite the doubts?

On Friday, I hope to share one exciting snippet from my life that I'm thankful for.  And then perhaps we can continue to dive into other aspects of prayer and loving God.  Until then, let's praise God by remembering.



  1. Its never really occurred to me of how remembering is so important... but it is. We can look back and remember how God was faithful and with us in the hard times, we can look back at times of joy, we can look back to see how far God has brought us. I guess one of the reasons I love to write in my journal is because I can look back later at the lessons God has taught me and to see and remember how He brought me through.
    I never want to not have faith. I understand that hard times will come and I understand that I will struggle but I never want to turn away from God. No matter how hard it is to hold on. In times of trouble He is to Who I turn to. I don't want that to change.
    God is always strong. And sometimes we don't realize that He's present when He is.... but we can look back and remember of how He was and will always be present.
    Great post Hosanna! Keep living for Him! I'll be praying for you :)

    1. Yes, Sarah!! That's also why I find journaling so helpful. It helps me remember the beauty, the joy, the memories in life. And then I can see where His hand was leading me even when I never knew it. ♥ Can you remember a specific time when you felt His love so strongly?

      That's a thought that has terrified me. What if I give up? What if I lose faith? Because on my own, I'm too weak. But I never want to turn away from God. Without Him, where would we be? It's comforting to remember that, "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Phil 1:6). He's got this. We don't, but He does.

      Keep on, Sarah! God will never give up on you. Keep remembering the promises, treasuring each moment, and discovering what it means to live for Christ. I'm thankful to know you as my sister in Christ. *hugs*

    2. *hugs* :)
      Thank you for the encouragement! We can't do this on our own, only with Him. One time when I was ironically writing in my journal, alone, then I remember feeling this peace, this love. And then whenever I think of how He sent His Son to die so that I could have a relationship with Him I feel loved. Whenever I remember of how I was lost yet He calls me found. How I was a slave to sin yet He claimed me as His child and calls me His daughter. His love is so wonderful, how can I not feel loved?
      What about you?

    3. That's beautiful! Thank you for sharing. Sometimes God reaches down to us in the most unexpected moments. =)

      Oddly, I seem to feel His love strongest when I'm outside under the nighttime stars. I remember a time when I was so overwhelmed by the beauty above me that such joy bubbled up! I couldn't keep from dancing there in the darkness because I felt Him. I wish I always lived in that nearness of His presence, always felt Him close. His love is so wonderful...but I often forget. Perhaps it goes back to faith - we must continue trusting even when doubt come. His love is amazing. ♥

  2. This was encouraging! It can be hard to think about how He is good to us, to remember all that He has already done for us, when things are less easy than we like it. Yes, we will have trials, but He will see us through them - we just can't always see it until we are on the other side. We must keep our eyes on Him!

    1. Good thoughts, Julian! I heard it explained as an analogy once. Life is like a long, curvy road. We only see so far before a hill or bend in the road blocks our view. Is a carriage coming? Will we meet a new friend? We just keep walking, never knowing the future. But God is on top of a mountain, and He looks down and sees it all. He knows every twist and turn in life. And He's in control. What a comforting thought! For when our eyes are upon Jesus, what do we have to fear?

      Don't ever give up, my friend! God's ever leading you onward. And He loves you more than you can imagine, even in the midst of the trials. ♥ Thank you for dropping by and sharing your heart. =)

  3. FIRST OF ALL happy happy happy Thanksgiving, girlie!!!! I am SO thankful for you, and so happy that I happened to stumble across your corner of the blogosphere--it has truly blessed me. <3 You are so mature and wise in the know how to learn, how to love, how to give, how to teach. I am so thankful to 'know' you. <333
    It is GREAT to remember how God has been working in our lives (and about losing a baby--I get it. It's happened here too. But both of our siblings are in a much better place. Sometimes life doesn't seem fair, but GOD IS GOOD. That doesn't change no matter what life throws our way--I remember writing in my journal during that rough season 'we've got the God-filter on this. We're going to be fine.' He is good no matter what. <33) Something that happened last night was a special God moment that made me feel real special.
    I had been thinking about stuff I could do to help the poor, and I had found something, but I needed to ask someone about it to see if it was all right. I was nervous, but then I remembered, "If this is something God wants me to do, He is going to provide the means to do it!" I glanced down at my journal, which has Bible verses printed on each page, and the verse my eyes happened to land on was 'Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) The Spirit really used that to encourage me, and it just made me feel really special. <33
    Let's remember all the ways we have been SO blessed this year--even through the hard times. <3
    Love you, girl!

    1. Ariel!! Happy Thanksgiving to you too! God's amazing like that - turning accidents into relationships. ♥ I'm very thankful for you too! You don't know how many times you make me smile and brighten my day. And your blog posts make me think - especially that last one. =) I love you, sweet girl. But God loves you even more. (that's a whole lot!) Thank you for your sweet words...I fail in more ways than you know. But God's faithful. =)

      I can actually look back on the miscarriage with thankfulness. I miss Kalem, but God used that time in so many ways. And I have a special surprise for you in tomorrow's post. =)

      Aww! Thanks for sharing that. I love those God moments. =) Actually, He's used my journal to encourage me too (it also has random verses on each page! How cool!). Please let me know about that opportunity! I'd be thrilled to hear if it goes through. =) God's got this.

      The best friends are ones who always point you to God's goodness. Today you did that for me. ♥ Happy Thanksgiving!

    2. It is SO amazing how things like that can happen! But really, I don't think they should be counted as accidents--God knows what He is doing. ;) And it always works out for the good! UGH girl you are so awesome. <333333333 YOU ARE DA SWEETEST EVER. SERIOUSLY. He is so faithful!!!
      It's really awesome how you can go through the hardest times, and then look back sometimes and be like 'I can see how He used that.' That's why we need to remember that even in the rough seasons, it's not just a random blip in our lives--God is working. We need to see how and where He is working, where He wants us to join, and join Him!! It's a really awesome thing when we do. <3 OHHHHH MY GOODNESS I CANNOT WAIT! Don't keep me in suspense, sista! Post asap!!!
      That's amazing that He has encouraged us in those ways! He's so good. <3 How has God encouraged you recently? It's amazing hearing stories of His care even in the little things!
      UGH GIRL YOU'RE JUST WAY TO AWESOME AND COOL OKAY?! I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving, girl! How did your family celebrate today?

    3. Ariel! You crack me up! You're way too sweet. xD But you're completely right - there are NO accidents!!

      Do you ever feel like you live a day that didn't matter? Perhaps trust is realizing that God is working even in those moments! Yes, He uses hard times. But He can also use mundane times when we're tired and discouraged. How amazing is that?! We can't change the world, but He can. Whenever, however, whatever. He can do it!

      That's a powerful question: how has God encouraged me? It took me a minute to think of an answer. I think He encouraged me yesterday. I got to visit with some friends from the play that I've missed. The talking and laughing... it was just a fun time. I was Mattie Cuthbert again with my "sister" Marilla and "daughter" Anne. We played hide-and-go-seek in the dark like we did when we were little. =) Those moments felt like a gift from Him. What about you? How has He encouraged you?

      Our Thanksgiving was wonderful!! We had around 38 people here, just hanging out and being joyful. =) What are you most thankful for, Ariel?

      Have a wonderful weekend! ♥


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