Project Love || Remembering

I was taking a test.  My hand shook so much that I could barely sign my name.  The computer booted up, and my heart pounded as I waited for the instructor to sign me in.  And then it was time.  The words stared at me, waiting, watching.  Start this exam.

And then I was staring at a different computer screen.  This time I was trying to hold back the tears that burned in my eyes.  A friend typed on, telling me how happy she was to have a new baby sibling.  I pretended to rejoice.  She thought I was glad.  But the tears slipped down as I wondered why she had a baby when ours was never born.

Another friend was hurting.  Her daddy was dying before her eyes, and there was nothing they could do.  She had to watch her little sisters fall apart as their protector become too weak to go to work.  And then too weak to get out of bed.

The days passed on.  As a weekend rolled around, I found my face covered in stage make-up.  Actors rushed around me to their spots as my fingers grew cold.  There in front of me was the red curtain.  In one second it would open up.  Would I forget my lines?  Or do something embarrassing?  What if...?

But day turns around to night.  As I lay in bed snuggling under the warm blankets each night, I remember.

I see the testing screen, but I remember how God led me through and helped me pass the exam.  I feel the dull ache from past tears, but I remember that God had a purpose and brings healing.  I look back on my friend's pain and smile to think of the day when her father was healed and took the first step to complete recovery.  And I can almost hear the applause after a performance finished and feel the hugs from fellow actresses as we rejoiced in a beautiful success.

Because life is hard.  And it hurts.  Sometimes there aren't answers.  We fail or look silly or lose someone we love.

But remembering is so important.

Faith doesn't only come when we're free from doubt.  Faith comes when we choose to believe - to be loyal - despite our uncertainty.  

Last week I shared a verse that continues to ring true.

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,

To the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should hope and wait quietly

For the salvation of the Lord. 

- Lamentations 3:25-26

 This week and in the ones to follow, I am focusing on the area of prayer.  If we love the Lord with all our heart, won't prayer be a natural instinct?  Won't it pour from our lips as a response to a passionate relationship?

Step #1 is remembering.  Sometimes we must step away from life and fix our eyes upon Jesus.  We must choose to quietly wait for God and have faith even amidst the doubt.

My friend Sarah mentioned this in a comment, and how relevant it is!

It's hard to just pause to look at God's goodness in the midst of life, but it's important to do so... sometimes when we get really busy, or when we simply don't take time to dwell on His goodness, then it's good just to sit still and close our eyes and think about Him.

This is my challenge for you.  Let's think about His goodness and praise Him for His love.  Sing, or dance, or sit still, or just stare at the stars.  Whatever it is, I want to remember how God pulled us through the hard times.  When we were broken, He healed us.  When we were scared, He brought comfort.

And I'd be thrilled to hear from you, dear friends!  When has God been strong in your life?  What miracles or moments are especially sweet for you to recall?  If life is hard right now, are you going to have faith despite the doubts?

On Friday, I hope to share one exciting snippet from my life that I'm thankful for.  And then perhaps we can continue to dive into other aspects of prayer and loving God.  Until then, let's praise God by remembering.

~♥~