You (don't) Need a Dress to be a Princess + thoughts on identity

I'm learning about  i d e n t i t y.

When music turns on, my 3-year-old niece dances. She can't help but twirl and jump and fall with her arms sprawled around, grinning widely as she runs around the house, laughing, and tries to do a flip like her gymnast aunts (but instead produces a funny summersault that gets so much applause!).

But sometimes, she can only dance if she's wearing a dress.

When the melody begins in soft pianos or electronic dance music, she runs to me, begging for a dress. Because somewhere inside her, without the twirling hem of a skirt, without the pretty feeling of lace and floral colors, without something beautiful to wear, she believes she's not a princess.

That's why when she strutted into the room with fancy boots, a fuzzy pink winter hat, sunglasses, and her snowman pjs, I knew in her heart she was beautiful and princessy and could walk with dignity. ;)

But I do the exact same thing. I don't always know my true identity.

In the autumn, after publishing The Way of the King, I faced wide-open days and presented them to the Lord. His answer: rest

That was hard.

I had no books to write. No career. No specific ways of ministry or serving or producing fruit.

It's easy for my identity to be in those.

I want to produce something beautiful because it makes me feel like I have purpose. But it's not true.

He is my identity.

God whispered, what if My definition of "productive" is different than yours?

That time was so productive. It was so good. It was a time of facing hard truths, of seeing sin and ugliness in myself He wanted to purge, of crying bitter tears, of learning increased surrender to my King. It was a time I grew more like His Princess and less like the ugly self in this heart that fights to resist Him.

I learned:

 my identity is Christ.

It's being His.

Period.

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 

There's this switch that happens when a soul surrenders to God as their Father. They're made new. Beautiful. Clean. Forgiven.

Instead of our wrongs or rights defining us, we're defined as: children adopted, fully known and fully loved.

I learned that on the Day Jesus returns to bring restoration, He will be called,

THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS

Jeremiah 23:6

to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

Romans 3:26 

Which means I can walk in victory. joy. peace. All this, knowing on that Day, the Judge will look at me and see Jesus' righteousness covering me, and I'll be s a v e d.

Like God spoke to Israel about their salvation from a captivity they rightly received, we also are invited to find our wholeness, peace, shalom in Him.

I will heal their backsliding,
I will love them freely...

Hosea 14:4

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:1

Somehow, through the cross, my identity is changed.

And it can't be unchanged through my daily mistakes. my confusions. the opinion of others. circumstances. my performance. disasters. emotions. (or my lack of a princess dress)

My identity is C H R I S T.

HE is my righteousness--meaning that His goodness is clothed around me, so that's all that can be seen. All the old is gone, and I can walk in Christ.

I don't have to wear a dress to be a princess.

And I can rest knowing I belong to the King of Kings! The work of the cross is finished, so I'm gonna get giddy when the music turns on because I have permission to dance, clothed in His righteousness as my ballroom gown!

What we do is very important. But what He did is way more important-er. ;)

And that's what keeps me going in loyalty until the Day of Christ Jesus, when He returns to rule as King forever! 

Death. life. angels. principalities. powers. things present. things to come. height. depth. any created thing. NONE of them shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That's the identity of Hosanna Emily.

And it can be yours.

Not how many books you write, lives you change, jobs you work. It doesn't matter how "productive" you look to the world.

Because you might wake up without snowman pjs, a fancy dress, or a pink snow hat. ;)

Jesus doesn't change.

And that's why my identity is secured. ♥

is there something you're tempted to place your identity in or base your worth on? or something about this post you'd like to chat about? drop a note in the comments to talk or pray for each other! *hugs*

Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven,
And whose sins are covered;
Blessed is the man to whom the LORD shall not impute sin.

Romans 4:7-8

 

~♥~

and Now You're Weak (but that's okay)

  

Hello, dear reader!

It's nigh six months since 2024 began. Halfway through the year. Six months of more beauty and growth and seasons to come...

When 2024 began, I considered picking a theme word for this year but couldn't. Instead, I found that as I lived through the pages of a calendar, God found themes on His own to adorn my months (perhaps He knows what I need most to grow), ;) and these last 6 months, it's been grace ... and  w e a k n e s s.

utter inability. ineptness.

Funnily, I learned "inept" in ASL before I knew it in English. ;) The professor showed us the sign and defined it as the opposite of skilled.

... and being inept this year has been so good.

Because we ended 2023 by saying goodbye until Resurrection to a dear friend who died. Then there were days of family in the hospital. Ups and downs and heart-tearing, and as I sat before my laptop with the start of a novel tumbling in my mind with so many plot holes I couldn't even fill, I felt completely inept.

I like to picture my writing desk as a warzone. It's a place where beauty is created, like snippets of Eden in the brokenness of this fallen world. It's where the enemy is fought and defeated by ruthless prayer.

But my desk is more like a messy meeting place with Jesus. I try to arrange my candle and mug full of pens, the letters from friends which mean so much, and the honey jar for tea, but it always remains disorderly with stray pencils and papers by my elbows.

In this place, I pour out my heart to Jesus and beg for inspiration. I write out of weakness and ask for His strength. I create chapters that may need to be completely rewritten later and poems that may never be read.

I'm inept without Jesus.

And I love that. Because it makes me pursue Him, seek Him, and in my season of weakness, His strength is beautiful and tender and... well, strong. =)

In my weakness, I learn the beauty of God being a God who hears.

I cry out to the LORD with my voice;

With my voice to the LORD I make my supplication.

I pour out my complaint before Him;

I declare before Him my trouble.

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,

Then You knew my path... 

Psalm 142:1-3

I found myself poised with fingers on the keyboard and no ideas to go forward as I just begged for help; in His amazing Storyteller way, Jesus came through and whispered character arcs and names and adventurous cliffhangers and purposes. As I drafted, it's like He read over my shoulder, offered ideas, and it's okay that there's loads of editing to be done later, because this is a first draft that I get to write with the One I love more than life itself who literally is the God who hears.

His promises to Israel are especially beautiful,

And they did not thirst

When He led them through the deserts;

He caused the waters to flow from the rock for them;

He also split the rock, and the waters gushed out.

Isaiah 48:21

If God had His people then, He is still trustworthy, beautifully faithful.

Yes, in loss and fear and inability, I'm broken and weak.

And I'm so glad, because it produces dependency on Jesus! I look back now on the time of drafting the novel as 2024 began, and I see victories overruling the struggles to produce beautiful words because He was (+ continues to be) strong.

Yes, this year is one marked by weakness... and strangely, strength. It's His strength, His grace, ascribed to me because of the redemption of the cross and Jesus in me! 

And it's okay. It's not shameful to weep tears to our Father. It's okay to sing brokenly, to pray desperately, and to not understand but trust anyway.

I wonder if that's as beautiful as when we dance in ecstasy, because in both ways,

we l o v e + t r u s t  Him.

Our Jesus is coming to make all things new, and the ending of the story will be magnificent! Like when this novel I began is finally published, the result will be beautiful.

But today is the middle. In it, He is the God who hears.

It's the waiting faithfully until He returns. It's the drafting of a novel that didn't have an end, and the characters hurt and struggled and h o p e d.

I love this,

Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer,

The Holy One of Israel:

"I am the LORD your God,

Who teaches you to profit,

Who leads you by the way you should go.

Oh, that you had heeded My commandments!

Then your peace would have been like a river,

And your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

Isaiah 48:17-18

There is victory in Jesus—His finished work on the cross, His Spirit today in us, and His coming return to bring restoration to all that's good and recompense to all that's evil!

Victory.

If today feels weak or strong. Broken or whole. Sensical or confusing. Inept or skilled.

My identity and strength and hope is in the One Who makes all things new. And I can pour out my heart before Him, for He is a refuge for us (Psalm 62:8).

Hold on, you broken warrior, and keep fighting, even if it's messy and looks like desperate prayers.

His strength is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

(( + spoiler alert, Jesus will rule as King in the end! )) ♥

As for our Redeemer, the LORD of hosts is His name,
The Holy One of Israel.

Isaiah 47:4

~♥~