We are Redeemed

I'm a perfectionist.

I never do things half-way. I like things in their place, done in the right way, and I do believe there's only one way to skin a cat. *cough*

That's good sometimes. In writing, I stubbornly keep going because I want to see fruit from my work. And when I work at anything else, I usually do it well, even if that means it takes forever (think sweeping).

But it's also not good. Because when I do fail, I don't forgive myself. I feel like I let God down, and how can He love me when I'm so full of these struggles and mistakes and weaknesses that I keep falling prey to?

So He is teaching me. And today I listened to this song, and somehow it's so true.

Seems like all I can see was the struggle

Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past

Bound up in shackles of all my failures

Wondering how long is this gonna last

There's a phrase I detest: "just human." It's an excuse for why we fail; we just can't help it.

Somewhere, there's a balance. Yes, we're human, and we make mistakes. But Jesus has also given us power to live in Him. We are in Christ. We are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

But yes, we do mess up. We've all sinned and fallen short of Him. We all have a past full of failures.

But there's hope. This battle isn't lost.

Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son

Stop fighting a fight that's already been won"

Friend, your battles are won.

You may have swung your sword carelessly and cut yourself, but He gives grace. He is fighting those battles for us, and we need only position ourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD (2 Chronicles 20:17).

No battle is too hard. No struggle is too difficult. No past is unable to be redeemed.

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I'll shake off theses heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed

Dear friend, the battle isn't ours in the first place. The battle is the Lord's. And He has already conquered sin and death.

So never settle for less. Fight those battles, but do it in Him. Live every moment to give Him honor, and He will do the rest.

And if you make a mistake or break your sword, it's okay. Ask forgiveness. He always gives it.

Then keep fighting.

There's an enemy out there who wants to attack you with His lies.

All my life I have been called unworthy

Named by the voice of my shame and regret

Those names, all darts to cut you down. So fight them. Yes, you are unworthy, but Jesus sees you as Loved. Yes, you made mistakes, but He forgives. Live in that victory.

But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"

I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet

You are redeemed.

There is Truth stronger than the lies. None of them matter—not your appearance or circumstances or talents or weaknesses. Nothing except your heart and Jesus.

Jesus is not done with you. He has a plan and purpose for you, bigger than your wildest imagination. It probably won't be what you expect, but it's so much better. If you seek Him and want Him more than anything else, He will be found. And He will turn you into a new creation.

I don't have to be the old man inside of me

Cause his day is long dead and gone

I've got a new name, a new life I'm not the same

And a hope that will carry me home

The hope: Jesus loves. He redeems. He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

In The Torch Keepers, my newly released novel, there's this line that always hits me. Kadira, one of my main characters, reaches one of her last chapters. By this point, she's done horrible things, made drastically wrong mistakes. She can't go back, fix those problems she made.

And then my favorite line.

"Did you know how much you were loved?"

After everything.

It's the same for you. Friend, you are so loved. And after everything, you can still be forgiven, treasured, a new creation. You can be redeemed.

Seek Jesus. He is the Giver of such good gifts and precious promises. And He will never leave you.

That's what I'm learning. I'm a perfectionist, and I want to live every moment for Jesus. If I fail or fall I want to get up and keep running for Him.

No matter what, you are loved.

Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

- Philippians 1:6

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

- Matthew 11:28

~♥~

Father: a Letter from a Mentor

It's time for our last character post!

This is a hard one. Father, a mentor in the story, taught me so much through The Torch Keepers' creation. Writing his part of the story, I cried and grew and learned more about Jesus.

Before his letter though, I just need to stop and share that the Lord has been so faithful with this novel!!  It is now published on multiple sites, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, and Books-A-Million! Crazily, it sold out in some stores already, praise Jesus!  If you've read the novel and can leave a quick review, that would be so appreciated.  ♥

But anyway. Here 'tis, the last letter from The Torch Keepers' characters, Father, a man who inspires me so much.

Listen to his theme song (When the Shadow Reveals You), and remember how much purpose the King has for you.

(and ps) This will be my last blog post for a time. I'll be taking a break from the blogosphere, and redirecting my focus. But you can find my email via my connect page (click here), and I'd be glad to keep up during this hiatus!

You're so loved.  ♥

Father's Story

I always liked a good tale. Maybe I'll start writing one of these days. *raises eyebrows* *chuckles*

Every story is my favorite. Every one is unique and beautiful and part of a person who has such purpose beyond what they know.

That's why I like stories–they tell the tales of people. Of a girl or boy, a man or woman, who is seeking something. They want something of value, something that they can hold onto with pride and say "this is mine."

I know that feeling. I'm a woodworker, and taking a raw chunk of tree and turning it into something of worth is a feeling that overpowers you.

At first, that piece of wood is of no worth. One could throw it in a fire, and it would burn for a moment, then disappear to ash and empty coals.

But in my hands, it becomes a treasure. A toy that brings a smile to a little girl's sunken cheeks. A weapon to defend the poor. A torch to burn as a declaration to the world that the King reigns, and he loves.

That's when a sliver of wood becomes valuable.

It's hard. The woodworking isn't a quick, easy task that leaves the wood comfortable and safe. I have to tear it, to cut it, to break it apart. I burn the wood to give it color and texture. I sand it to rid it of imperfections.

It's much like being a Father. My children aren't mine by blood, yet they are chosen by something stronger. They are chosen for a purpose, for something bigger than they know.

At first, they may seem like a piece of raw wood. They haven't learned reason, maturity, truth. They are simple and scared, and they need someone to cultivate the treasure deep inside.

Sometimes that hurts. Discipline hurts. But it turns them into a man or woman who can fight for the King, who can stand against evil, who can love beyond measure.

I like stories, and I could never pick my favorite. But Kadira's is one especially dear.

Because she is my child. She is loved. So much more than she'll ever know.

That doesn't mean she makes the right choices. Several readers have already said how frustrated they get at her bad decision making skills. *laughs* I guess they might be right.

But she is my princess. She is a treasure, hiding and waiting to be discovered.

So is every person out there. They are priceless gems, sometimes hidden in rough rock. But they can be chiseled out to find the person they were always intended to be. They just have to surrender themselves to One greater.

Dear child, you are so loved. Don't ever forget who you are to your King.

And like the way I trim wood into something beautiful, let go and let Another transform your life into treasure.

The people who walked in darkness

Have seen a great light;

Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death,

Upon them a light has shined.

- Isaiah 9:2

~♥~

Kadira: a Letter from a Protagonist

Me: I know, I know. The Torch Keepers was published, thus this character-take-over-the-blog thing must be done, right?

Um, well, there was a problem. Two special characters have letters to share. Thus, meet Kadira.

She holds the center of the story. Kadira was the first character, the girl who grew and changed with the tale. And now I've asked her to share some of herself here.

So slip on some music (her theme songs are Nuvole Bianche + Future Fighter), and here's Kadira's story, the beautiful, the raw, and everything else.

Kadira's Story

Sometimes I wonder why the King picked me. Why does my story get told when so many other more wonderful, purer stories than mine are being lived every day?

Because my life wasn't the one I would have chosen. Not for me. Not for anyone.

It's ugly. It's broken. And it still hurts sometimes.

But the Author asked me to write anyway, to write my story from my perspective now, at the end of The Torch Keepers, looking back on the beginning.

Without giving anything away. *smiles*

So here goes.

*deep breath*

I used to be like any ordinary child. My desert village lay unknown to Érkeos, a tiny speck shining for our King in the wastelands. I don't even remember its name anymore.

I went to school. I dreamed of being a mama and doing amazing, beautiful things. And I had friends: Ir-Haran, a quiet boy who loved animals, Ir-Ivah, his sassy sister who made me laugh, and Am-Othniel, my dearest friend who loved me as his sister and could create music that blew away this entire world.

A normal life. Except for one thing.

My eyes were blue.

In a kingdom of grey or black or brown-eyed people, I stood out. People stared at me. But I was proud, because my eyes were beautiful like Daddy's.

Until everything fell apart. I couldn't stop it.

And now I miss that desert village. I miss the quiet and peace and friends I lost, because from then on, everything got worse. I forgot who I was. And I forgot the King's ways.

So much happened. More than a decade wrapped up in one book. I made mistakes. I learned. I hurt others. I lived radically but for the wrong reasons.

The story didn't end there. And that's what I pray my life tells any reader who picks up The Torch Keepers.

It's not over. There's hope. There's this thing called Life–not the mundane and pain and mistakes but something more. Real Life. Really living.

Is that clichéd or simplistic? *laughs* Maybe it is. But it changed everything for me.

You're never too far gone. There's this King out there who loves radically. Even–especially–when you don't deserve it.

I don't know how or why. I don't even deserve a story.

But the King gave me one anyway.

He loves anyway.

So wherever you are, there's hope, there's tomorrow, and you're loved.

Don't forget that like I did. Because that's when it hurts so much more.

And that's a tiny piece of the story he gave me.

Me: So there's a tiny glance into Kadira's heart.

If you want to explore her tale fully, The Torch Keepers is now published on Barnes & Noble (click here!) and (on the 15th) on Amazon!

Friend, you are so loved. The King treasures you, and he has such a plan for your life. But first comes surrender.

I'll end with Kadira's theme verse.

The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them,
And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose.

- Isaiah 35:1

~♥~

The Torch Keepers RELEASE

Today's the day!!!!

A little dream is becoming real. And yes, it feels crazy. XD

Like how even?! How does God give me one small idea and stretch it to more until it's a book and it's releasing and the world gets to know these characters that hold so much of me?!

This last month has been crazy too; learning to trust, surrender, give myself to Jesus. There's been stress and missed deadlines and distractions and fangirling moments.

So last night I stopped, remembered what this release was really about.

And the answer: Him.

FRIENDS - The Torch Keepers is RELEASED!! You can order it on Barnes & Noble and soon also on Amazon! You can throw copies at your friends or hide in your closet and look at the beautiful cover that Alea created! Or host a giveaway, share with the world, write a million reviews!

I'm SO excited, so blown away, so thrilled that God chose to write this book through me!

But, dear friend, in all that (before you go hide in your closet with the novel), here's my heart:

The Torch Keepers isn't about the book.

It isn't about the author or the reader or the people who helped make it. It isn't even about Kadira or Emyir or Nura or Rekém.

The Torch Keepers is about a King. This King loves His people in a radical, huge way. He treasures them, from the smallest, disabled orphan girl to the Prince who seeks to use his power to take over the kingdom.

It's a King who is bigger than fantasy. Bigger than the world I created. It's the King who gives me every single breath and is with me with every beat my heart pounds out.

It's this King who sees you. All of you. The good, the bad, the secrets you try to hide. And in that, He. Treasures. You.

You're His princess, His prince. He sees you as His own. His child. His beloved.

And when things are worst, when you can't do it yourself, He bled and died to give you life.

That's what The Torch Keepers is about.

YES - it's one of my favorite books (I might be partial), and YES, I might be seriously fangirling over here. (eep!) Go grab your own copy, hide in the world of Érkeos, and wrap yourself in the story!

But when the book closes, friend, you are a treasure. Not because of who you are, what you've done, but because of the King. He cherishes you!

HAPPY RELEASE DAY! I'm bursting over here! *throws dark chocolate to everyone*

Now let's go change the world.

The Creator of the universe calls you beloved. ♥

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return,

And come to Zion with singing,

With everlasting joy on their heads.

They shall obtain joy and gladness,

And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

- Isaiah 35:10

~♥~