My little brothers are in the yard, one running, white net billowing behind him. He chases butterflies, grasshoppers, tries to tangle them in his net, see the little creatures up close. The other brother stalks, green slips of grass between his toes, sneaking up on the insects. Sometimes he drops to his knees and crawls like a panther. His net lies flat against his back. Waiting. Searching.
And I'm like them, me here, sometimes running sometimes stalking. I'm searching for moments. I'll keep swinging my net, trapping time between my fingers, and seeing the beauty in the little things.
I used to think life was made up of time.
I'd write for an hour. Eat and clean up for thirty minutes. Go on a 15-minute walk.
I thought life was trying to cram as much productivity as possible in a 14-hour day, fill my journal with how much I'd done, and then sleep, satisfied.
The problem: I never do enough.
I can't write enough. I can't blog enough. I can't spend enough time with my siblings, with Jesus, with helping around the house. My work is half-hearted, mind distracted.
Because life isn't meant to be lived on a watch.
I want to go back to the Garden of Eden. Where life is made up of moments, of relationships, of beauty.
Where I sit here, window blinds open, watch the raindrops on the glass. A thousand crystals, clear gems of every shape and size. One's a teardrop, another like eyes watching me; the one on the right slides down, slowly, and is joined by others as the clouds release their treasures of liquid diamonds.
Moments: like watching her walk down the aisle, white veil on her back, hair dark - brunette, as her eyes meet her lover's and they hold hands, kiss for the first time.
Another: Highlighters scattered across a white desk, the hues a picture only I see, but it's beautiful in colors a camera could never capture. The sapphire, emerald, orange.
I hear rain. I smell petrichor, that scent of the drops against the soil. Puddles splash, the geese stand in awe. A sibling lays on my bed and asks questions, break from writing, moments to treasure.
Because I read of Heaven, of the New Jerusalem, where foundations are made of sardius and beryl and glorious precious stones. I read of gates of pearls, of being with Him forever, that relationship, that water of life He gives freely.
Not to-do lists. Not alarms or watches or schedules. Yes, there's good in those, and Eden had its share of work. We were made to do good, to take care of the gifts and talents God has entrusted to us. But that's not the core.
Just Him, beauty, because it comes from Him too.
Oh, to walk by that pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, from the throne of God and of the Lamb! But even today, we're called. We're chosen. We're loved by the one from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away.
That beautiful, beautiful truth!
So if COVID goes on forever, I want to capture moments. If life returns to the same normal as before, I want to rejoice.
One day, we're going to stand before this God and account for every work we did. I want to know I lived them for Him, I loved Him, I made sacrifices and abandoned all for Jesus.
Yes, we work hard, we press on, we make schedules and sometimes have to rush to get tasks completed in time.
But it comes down to this: He is the center. He is Life. He is good.
And this life is a gift. So I want to run through the green grass and catch those moments, the resting and the working, catching them in white, silky nets, savor them, rejoice in Him, and know He is God.
To live life knowing I am His, I am loved, and I can draw near Him at any time, accepted because of Jesus.
That's Life.
...as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God...Behold, I make all things new... I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son."- Revelation 21:2-3, 5-7
~♥~