My knees buried in the ground as I knelt before the flaming tower that separated me from the paradise the King had created. This fire that banished my ancestors from the Oasis when they made a simple mistake.
But I knelt mostly because of the Presence that fell upon me like heavy dew. There was something deeper, a treasure I could feel with the air that brushed the wall of fire. It was a faint scent on the wind, like when I used to run home from the Sea to smell my papa cooking sweet pastries over the fire, just for me. But now, my mouth didn't water. My whole body did. It tightened, squeezed, burned.
Here was something I had searched for so long. In the stillness of this quiet place, there was peace. Harmony.
Peace that ruffled the leaves and needles of the trees. Peace that made the flowers grow. Peace that gave the riverheads their coolness, the sky its intense yet gentle blue color, and my body a strange yet calming quietness.
Peace.
Maybe that was what was wrong. Living in Érkeos, we twisted what was beautiful in the Oasis and turned it into an ugly mess. Our lives were broken, shattered. But we only pressed forward for more, worked for more, when what we really needed was right here: to be still and know. To know, to find this lost harmony.
But how did one find what we lost?
// chapter 28
Do you ever feel like that?
I do.
Sometimes, I thirst so much. It's like I know there's something more in life, and I have that urge, that desire, my whole body watering for a drop of that Presence.
And we work so hard for it. We do so many things. We accomplish. We strive. But it's not enough.
I think of my little sister this morning. She beams at me, smoothing her shirt, and points out how she is wearing my favorite outfit of hers to make me happy. I smile, tell her how pretty she is. She dances away.
But the secret: that little act didn't make me love her more. It made me smile, for sure! But I already love my sister fully, and she doesn't have to do anything to earn it. She's stuck with my affection. ;)
Like a favorite verse says,
The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you."
Everlasting.
Isn't that beautiful?! It's a love not dependent on time, on us, but it just keeps on going forever. Right in this moment, you are being loved by your Father.
So I sit, read Rekém's story again. And that urge is in me, that desire to know that Presence.
I think it's the longing to walk and talk with our Father like we used to do in Eden.
Before sin came, we had harmony with Him. We could be with Him, completely open, vulnerable, and feel no shame. But the Fall happened. And now we lost that Harmony.
But He re-invites us into it. Our Father in Heaven desires us to curl up in His presence like children, love Him. To know and be knowing Him. To share our secrets, our struggles, our joys freely.
He challenges me:
be still and know. come be with Me. bare yourself, empty yourself, and let Me turn this body into the person I've created you to be. I am making a New Heaven and a New Earth, and I will make you a New Creation who can dwell there with Me.
let go. just worship. know Me.
It's the greatest invitation, the greatest honor: to know Him. And when I sit in His presence, worship, love, even when it's hard and I'm scared and I don't know what tomorrow holds and I feel ugly or unworthy inside, His Presence fills part of me that has somehow been thirsting for so long.
If you're like Rekém, know there is an answer. That longing can be filled. The answer isn't doing more or being more. It's relationship.
Truth: you are loved.
// Rekém's name is the most mis-pronounced name in the entire novel. (why do readers do this to me?!) *covers face*
His name is pronounced: Ra-keem.
Not Re-kem.
It means "torn between." And as you explore his story in The Torch Keepers, you'll see his indecision. His turmoil. He has to choose his side, just like you and I have to. Sometimes, it's the hardest thing we'll ever do.
(But if you've been pronouncing Rekém right, I think you deserve brownie points and a really big hug.) *wink* //
Ho! Everyone who thirsts,Come to the waters;...Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,And let your soul delight itself in abundance.Incline your ear, and come to Me.Hear, and your soul shall live.
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