Keep Burning, Keep Trusting

Dear Friend, let me tell you a story.

You're in a room with a roaring fire.  Wisps of orange mix with yellow and red in the flames as they leap high under the rough, brick mantle.  You can smell bits of smoke mixed with the faintest hints of cedar wood.

But as you watch, a man hurries to the fire.  Bucket in hand, he pours it onto the flames, and they hiss, fighting against his work.  When the bucket runs out, he hurries to refill it and returns, dumping gallon after gallon of water into the flames.

They don't die.  Somehow, with every drop that sizzles in the burning flames, the fire only grows.

So you turn, walk around to the back of the chimney where you can see the rear of the fire.  And there another man kneels.  Gently, he pours a curved pitcher into the base of the fire and deep, black liquid flows - oil.

Two fighting forces.  One side fights to kill the fire, the other slowly builds it higher and stronger.

The oil caresses the flames even though they can't see it.  Still, the fire roars at the man with the water as he tries to quench its heat.  Some flames die, others quiver under the water's touch.  But they never go out.

And you realize something.  The fire doesn't know, but it's kept alive - not by its own strength but by the oil that's gently poured into its roots.

(story adapted from John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress)

That fire represents our faith.  And we're under attack.

The enemy has cold water to douse our hope, and, honestly, we're helpless against his schemes.  What can a small fire do against so much water?

Yet we're not alone.  Christ is always there being our strength when we are weak.  He is our shelter in the storm, our oil when we burn low.  Even if all else fails, if God is for us, who can be against us?  (Romans 8:31)

That was my life last week.

On Monday, I had plans for what great posts I would write up for this blog.  I had a whole week ahead of me - a week to accomplish goals, grow stronger, do things I never did before.  But that Monday morning, it all shattered.

A friend died.

He was like a brother to me and my little brother's best friend.  After fighting cancer for 10 months, our friend went to be with Jesus.

It should have been a time of celebration - Heaven is a wonderful, beautiful destiny, and we are thankful for our friend's victory over sickness, death, pain.  But we also felt broken.  It sounds so selfish to miss someone who's in such a better place, but we did.  We mourned.  We hurt.

And then I thought I healed.  I moved on, tried to forget, and busied myself with other things.  If I was that fire, it was like the enemy gave me a break as he refilled his bucket.  I thought I was okay.

But on the day of the celebration of our friend's life, it all crashed down again.  I remembered every memory, every thing that I missed with our friend being gone.  As we worshiped together during his memorial service, I tried to sing along, but the words came out in broken sobs.

There were so many questions:  Why?  If I had faith, why did it not work out like I prayed for it to?  Didn't God care?  Didn't He love?

With them slowly came answers.  I felt that pitcher of oil pour into my dying flames.  And even though I still don't understand completely, I am not extinguished.

Yes, God loves.

As I walked outside in bitterly cold air, my heart matched the dropping temperatures.  But I looked up.  A monarch butterfly flew across my path.  I turned away, kept walking, but remembered.

Later, sitting at my desk, my eyes wandered out the window.  Sunlight pierced through a green field, edged in the brown of autumn.  Somehow, the light brightened the world and made it glow.  I stopped everything I was doing and embraced it.

And so many other little reminders:  yes, God loves.

I don't understand why, but He still loves.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, not height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

- Romans 8:38-39

He doesn't only love us, but He has a purpose in everything - even if it's not the purpose we imagine or dream.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

- Romans 8:28

As I felt the fresh pain of loss, He brought an idea into my mind.  I'm a writer.  In my current WIP, my main character experiences death firsthand.  She is alone, weak, scared.  Life turns upside down in ways she doesn't expect.  And she wants to give up.

As an author, I hurt with my characters.  I care about them.  I cry when I make them suffer.

But I know the big picture.  In the end of her story, my character will be stronger.  She has a beautiful, wonderful ending to her story, and she just needs to trust me to bring it to pass.

It's the same with us.

I don't know why things happen the way they do, but God has a purpose.  The end of our story is beautiful - Heaven with Jesus forever.  Even though right now it hurts, we have a good inheritance (Psalm 16:5-6).  We might never find out why, but we can always declare,

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

- Job 1:21

 I believe God hurts when we experience pain (John 11:35-36, Hosea 11:3-4,9 read the surrounding chapters for full context - so rich!).  But sometimes, that difficult time is what helps us grow most.

And when we're hurting, we can remember that there's Someone behind us, fueling our flames with oil and never leaving us nor forsaking us.

There's so much more I learned from this time of mourning; I'm so, so thankful for it.  I'm learning to love others more.  To savor my time.  To rejoice.

But dear friend, what buckets of water is the enemy throwing on your flames?  What trials do you face, and how can I pray for you and be an encouragement?

You are never alone, and you are so loved.  God has a plan.

Weak and wounded sinner,

Lost and left to die,

O, raise your head for Love is passing by 

Come to Jesus,

Come to Jesus,

Come to Jesus and live

...

Sometimes the way is lonely,

And steep and filled with pain,

So if your sky is dark and pours the rain 

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus and live

- Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)

  

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

- Isaiah 40:31

(ps) A lovely author wrote a post that blessed me today in this topic.  Click to read God's Masterpiece by Aleigha C. Israel.

 ~♥~