expectantly || a poem

expectantly || a poem

funnily, last year i learned to love running:

beginning with muscles stretching, heart pounding in anticipation,

then taking off with adrenaline speed

to settle into rhythmic breathing + focused motion.

yet a race is a battling fight

for weakness pulls at me to slow,

+ i hear lies—like every passing tree—

pulsing in my gasping breaths + flushed face;

i resist with feet planting firmly + eyes set:

every pain pushes me closer to the Prize

so i fight on.

winter settles to ice the air in frost,

+ i fight daily,

yet only grow weaker.

i learn in the everyday

strength isn't in pushing harder, like a race,

it's in the Strength Giver.

when i spring up a hill, i whisper:

this is what He trained me for

yet when the run is over, i maybe train hardest

by waiting on the Lord, eyes set

on Him, my utter Prize,

waiting for His springtime.

He fights as i follow in submission.

Jesus is the body; i am the feet simply obeying,

+ He never grows weary or slumbers,

so with His Spirit in me, why should i walk in defeat?

is there victory in g r a c e ?

i run hard in races + will to be the feet of Jesus in today,

to achieve the ultimate Prize.

not because of my strength

(which, if i boasted in, would fall flat in the first competition)

but because of His,

                                expectantly.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

For though (Jesus) was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, 13:4

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength...
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength.
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-29, 31 

~♥~

what beauty || a poem

what beauty || a poem

i heard that light only has definition

in the face of darkness,

+ i wondered if beauty too

was only beautiful in the presence of distortion.

for i hold the dying hand of a flower kissed by frost's poison--

+ the loveliness wilts in the curse's winter,

melts like ice.

but it's not the death that makes life--

life was the first,

the lovely before mar,

+ though darkness was in the beginning,

the Spirit of God was hovering,

the God who made l i g h t;

life, beauty, light formed in the fingerprints of Almighty Beauty.

all nobility is defined by the Day

the Maker made something good,

+ all today that looks like Him or His work,

that is beautiful:

the healing in dirty, mechanic hands

a waterfall thundering like heaven

fellowship unbroken,

what true beauty!

defying any serpent's attempts

to turn good into evil,

the Almighty will crush his head,

so we praise

+ become full-time beauty seekers

in a faulty world.

even the Deaf sign beauty before their face,

+ i wonder if it's the glory of a soul created

or the unsurpassed wonder of the Beauty Maker Himself.

Yes, in the way of Your judgements,

O LORD, we have waited for You;

The desire of our soul is for Your name
And for the remembrance of You.

- Isaiah 26:8

 

~♥~

is the Bible the Fallen Weapon of the Faithful?

Hello friend! ♥♥♥

It's the 5th-week-bookiversary of The Way of the King being published (yay!), and as my brother enjoyed the story for the first time, he made a comment:

"Sometimes, it seems like the followers of the King are weak; they're always losing the fight."

I thought about that, knowing the beginning to the end of the story, and remembered a favorite character.

He was a young man who was trained thoroughly. He was ready. Prepared. If his weapon was in hand, no enemy could defeat him, no knife come against his bowstaff.

But one day, he lay it aside and went out empty handed.

He was defenseless.

If every character in the book took up their weapon and allowed themselves to be trained under the hand of their King, they too would be ready to fight in all situations that besieged them.

Yet I wonder if, as Christians, we're faltering like the young man and dropping our own weapon--the weapon of the Word of God.

The enemy is telling us--telling me--to lay down our weapons.

Sometimes for our persecuted brothers and sisters, it's with another weapon pointed at their heart, and to hold onto the Bible means literal death. But for us, the threat is just as deadly.

Like a river tugging at us to simply float and coast beside the shoreline, admire the sun and flowers and cool water. "Stop fighting," it whispers, "to drift is easier, and you deserve the break. You can't keep swimming forever."

It bids us lay down our weapons.

Because if we're not actively pursuing Jesus, we're falling away.

Like another warrior in my tale who thought he was following neither the King or the Prince, but, unknown to him, a person is always on one side or another, and there is no indecision.

Choose your side

Then keep the loyalty.

I hear the enemy's lies, trickily trying to deceive me into laying down my bowstaff, and sometimes it sounds good.

Like, 

I just don't have a desire to read the Bible.

It's hard for me to understand.

I too busy.

I can only spend time in the Bible if I can set aside a long time to study hard.

When the enemy whispers those lies, my sassy self wants to lift my eyebrows and say, "Oh yeah? Then I'll just read it more. Take that." *giggles*

But do I realize the lies are from the enemy and thus identify the lies and attack them with truth?

Do I let the scriptures actually define my life?

Do I let Jesus transform me?

Oh fight, dear warrior!

And if you don't have a love for the scriptures, if you don't have time to sit and read, if it's hard to understand, and you don't consider yourself a good studier, fight anyway.

I am encouraged by a dear friend who is beginning her walk with Jesus. She plays the Bible on audio and doesn't understand it all but keeps persevering and is excited to share verses she memorizes because she knows it's important and is learning to love it.

And I remember times when reading the Bible was hard and dry, and I asked Him to increase my love for it, and He did.

Because our God wants to speak to us. Encourage us. Teach us. He is a Father in Heaven who loves His children and wants to spend time with us and have us be His children because He treasures us.

He knows we live in a world besieged by a treacherous Prince who desires our destruction, so He offers His own Spirit to live inside us, handing us all we need for life and godliness, and the scriptures are a weapon.

He knows the current pulls us downstream, so He rows up a boat and says, "will you join Me?"

Oh, let's fight! Let's treasure His Word. May it be precious to us.

I've been praying this for me and for the Church. And I beg us, don't listen to the enemy's lies. Make time to dig into the Bible. Let it transform you. Fight with it.

I'll sign off with sweet verses that have been an encouragement to me as of late, and may they be a blessing as we pursue our Jesus. ♥

I will delight myself in Your commandments,

Which I love.

The law of Your mouth is better to me
Than thousands of coins of gold and silver.

I will never forget Your precepts,

For by them You have given me life.

 

Oh, how I love Your law!

It is my meditation all the day.

 

How sweet are Your words to my taste,

Sweeter than honey to my mouth!

 

Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light to my path.

 

I rejoice at Your word

As one who finds great treasure.

// snippets from Psalm 119 

~♥~