The Aisle trickles before me.
The pathway is a ribbon, edged in white, inside painted green with the grassy clover that sweeps to both sides, meeting the trees, then up, canopy. They’re like castle walls, this path is the drawbridge, and I hear crocodiles on both sides.
But when I stand here, feet on gravel, at the edge of the path before me, I can see it all.
The road I’ll walk in the morning, Father by my side, me in white, my groom waiting. This moment I’ve dreamed of.
Yet now, as the party disperses, night settles, I’m walking down it before.
There’s a dripping in the trees, the kiss of today’s misty rain. Fireflies blink, syncopation. I smell wet mud, grass, the flowery perfume of the wedding party gone moments ago from the rehearsal.
It’s different now. I wear exercise shorts in neon pink, a thin shirt hanging on my shoulders. My hair falls in messy curls that frizz from the rain.
I cross my arms, tight.
Because here, on this gravel, I’m safe. I can just live life. I can keep going the way I always have, change nothing.
The first step to the Aisle, into that rich grass, changes everything.
And it’s growing darker. The path leads deeper into the forests’ shadows. I hear the raindrops falling. Crickets pick up their song, noisy bugs and frogs joining in the twilight reverie.
I can see the pathway until it curves around the trees. The rest is imagination.
I shiver. It’s silly, but I imagine bears or cougars in the night, I think of the reasons why I shouldn’t walk down tonight; I could wait for tomorrow when light and people make it safe, easy. When my fiancé stands before me, watching me in silky dress, blushing cheeks.
I hear my Lover whisper.
And I take the first step.
Clover curls around the dirty shoes I wear. I feel mud squish down. Raindrops tickle my hair.
My heart thunders like a storm, and I’m scared to go forward and scared to go back. I want Him so badly, and yet that surrender and falling into His arms leaves me vulnerable. Open. Bare like a newborn child, crying for his mother because, without her, he is utterly helpless.
Another step.
I slide in mud, body shakes to steady myself.
Step.
A branch falls in the trees, I jerk, stare, then turn my eyes back towards the Aisle and inhale deep.
As I walk, it’s this decision to abandon everything for a Person. Tomorrow it will be for the man who captured my heart, the man who makes me laugh, who knows my secrets, who wants to live the rest of his life with me as his own. My heart quickens.
But tonight, it’s more.
It’s leaving myself utterly behind to be joined to a King who declares me forgiven, holy, beloved. It’s me becoming nothing so that He can make me His own, give me His life to live, and ever be by my side.
Nothing can separate me from this Lover.
He is the embrace when my heart hurts deeper than anyone else can know. He is the hope I grab when I want to give up, to run, to hide from it all. He is the joy when I see the sunrise mixed with morning fog, the first spring rainbows, the stars shooting across the heavens, and He gives every one of those good gifts.
He makes me laugh hardest. He knows my deepest secrets. He wants to live the rest of forever with me as His own.
And that’s why I step, trembling, my legs with raised goosebumps and neon shorts tinged with drops.
But the best thing—this Lover walks down the Aisle with me.
I’m scared. He holds my hand, and I feel His presence in the last bird song.
I slip, straighten, and we laugh—together.
Tomorrow the mud will be dry, tables set, but today is somehow more beautiful.
The sun sets behind me, and I see the glow through misty fog, slight orange reflected in the trees. The Aisle turns a corner, and tables are set up, cloths pulled up above to keep off the rain. I see knobby chair legs and the remains of tonight’s dinner that will be cleaned up as the sun rises.
And the Arch.
Rising before us, me and Him, the two tree trunks meeting and the cross high above interwoven. Tomorrow there’ll be flowers too, gold and purple hues, but tonight it’s just the rustic wood, the reminder of us.
And at the Arch, I’m alone but not alone. I still shiver, still glance into the forest, but He gently turns my chin up, and I exhale. My breath meets twilight.
I kneel in moist leaves mixed with new grass.
Forehead touches the soil.
And surrender all to this One who loves more than any other, to the One who is ever good, to the One who wills me to take His life, His goodness, His love, and live it.
My name is changed. I become His.
For in this holy moment, it’s not just a kiss and then life goes on. It’s a forever that is just beginning and will go on till the end of the age and then further.
Here, a Prince took a peasant and made her a Princess.
She’s me.
I raise my eyes towards the misty sky, tinge of grey and orange and blue, and, for that moment, I forget the shadows and dangers because I’m enraptured by the Lover who has me in His arms.
Everything changes.
Tomorrow, I’ll do it again for the man whose ring I wear, but tonight I seal my heart to the heavenly One who called us together in the first place.
We love because He first loved us.
I stand, wipe mud off my legs, shake the shirt that hangs loose on my shoulders. As the first stars appear and try to peek through the atlas of clouds, I walk back up the Aisle.
But things changed.
I’m not myself. I’m bought with a price. I’m beloved. I’m His.
So this time, I skip. I run. And I don’t care if I slip because life is beautiful, and it’s His.
Dear Friend,
This is a little story to remind you, me, that we're being pursued, loved. Jesus is seeking your heart, and He bids us surrender all and follow Him. Like the wedding day that changes everything in a beauty we dream of, we now get to share our everything with Jesus as we surrender our mistakes, sins, fears, and take on His life. And that's why we rejoice. ♥
*hugs*
Seek the LORD while He may be found,Call upon Him while He is near.Let the wicked forsake his way,And the unrighteous man his thoughts;Let him return to the LORD,And He will have mercy on him;And to our God,For He will abundantly pardon...For you shall go out with joy,And be lead out with peace.
- Isaiah 55:6-7, 12
~♥~
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