The start of autumn used to depress me.
I watched frost fall on our flower beds, and petals glowed brilliantly silver in the first rays of sun... then melted to mushy deadness.
Gardens died. Trees wept their leaves.
Then God beautifully changed my vision by showing me the richness of fall, and now He calls me to take it a step further and believe it about the Christian life too:
If I'm called to die, can I rejoice?
It begins with this truth:
When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
This summer, I wrestled to surrender everything to Jesus.
I've lived in that freedom, and it was beautiful to have Jesus as my sole treasure, my one thing, but surrender doesn't seem to be a one-and-done process; it's continual.
And it's so good to live a life of continual surrender to our King.
But I've grown tired at times. I've let things slip - instead desiring comfort, safety, normality. And this summer, God stirred me up to remember those times of radical obedience and to pray for it again.
To share the Gospel at every opportunity. To give freely. To live without fear. To pour out even if to receive nothing back again. To have a predetermined "yes" to Jesus. To work for Jesus alone. To be willing to suffer for Him.
To let sinful desires die and Jesus live in my life.
At times though, I looked at the death of self like I used to see the death of fall - a bleak, painful, long process. I missed the promised spring at the end.
I read, "take up your cross" and missed what's right after.
Today, I grabbed my Bible and read that account, and what comes after the sacrifice, after this age, is beyond beautiful! I challenge you to read this. If you get nothing else, this is what matters, and the Word of God changes everything. Chew on it, meditate on it, let it sink into you.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If someone wants to be a disciple of Mine, he must deny himself and take up his cross and continue coming along with Me. If someone is set on saving his life, you see, he will lose it. If someone is prepared to lose his life because of Me, however, he will gain it. Is it really worth it for a person if he gains even all the riches in the world, yet forfeits his very life? Or what can a person give in return for his life? The Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, you see, and at that time He will 'repay each person according to his deeds.' Amen, I solemnly tell you this: There are some standing right here who will certainly not experience death while they have a glimpse of 'the Son of Man coming' with His Kingdom."
Matthew 16:24-28
Did you catch that? Jesus says a disciple of His must lose their life, take up their cross, deny himself, and follow Him.
It's pursuing Him so much that we'll risk losing anything to gain Him.
It's a love and loyalty for Jesus being our one thing. There's a beautiful reward at the end, the prize that a disciple has her eyes on and will run to attain!
Right after the passage above, Jesus has this beautiful transfiguration in Matthew 17, and it reminds me of an early glimpse of what He's promised: to come in the glory of His Father as the ultimate King, punish all evil, destroy death, and then bring His reward.
That's why I love autumn: the frosty death points to the coming newness of spring.
And suffering for the disciple simply points to a coming restoration, reward, and complete healing when Jesus returns!
That's why we endure! That's why we hold on! That's why we surrender our entire lives to discover Jesus, because He is our ultimate Prize!
I still balk sometimes, and I pray so hard that Jesus would enable me to be a disciple. I pray He would give me strength to pick up my cross and follow Him. When it feels like a burden too heavy for me to carry, you can find me,
casting upon Him all your cares, because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
And then it's light.
I've learned that good isn't the same as easy. Sometimes, following Jesus is hard, but it's so good. And then with His comfort and fellowship and future hope, is hard really that hard?
I love reading magazines by Voice of the Martyrs about believers who risk everything for Jesus... and the forgiveness and joy that comes is radically lovely.
So I'm learning the joy of surrender and that to rejoice in trials leads to patient endurance (James 1), which is so beautiful because the longing of my soul is to endure until that Day of restoration.
in the hope that, by any means possible, I will share in the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3:11
I encourage you: seek Jesus as your Treasure. Desire Him so much that you'll lay your life down as a living sacrifice.
Let love lead to loyalty, trials spur us to endurance, and the promised reward be what we seek to attain.
Let's kill sinful desires and let Jesus live in us.
The Spirit himself bears joint witness with our spirit that we are children of God. If we are children, moreover, we are also heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with the Messiah—if, in fact, we share in the Messiah’s sufferings, so that we may also share in His glory.
In this regard, I am certain that the sufferings of this present age can’t even be compared to the glory that will be revealed with respect to us.
Romans 8:16-18
~♥~