I'm Relearning the Gospel || this is how I joy

 

Hello friend!

The blog has been quiet for much too long. I've missed it. As truths and beauties churned in my heart since the beginning of the year, I've ached to sit here and record those thoughts, but I never did. Maybe it was because they felt raw, messy, like a story half-written with no satisfying ending. I struggled too, and how could I lift up Jesus when this heart itself needed refreshment?

I laugh now, because worship doesn't depend on my emotional status; I have permission to joy in Jesus right now, every day, because HIM.

I'm relearning the Gospel.

So this blog post is just that. It's a little peek into God's gentle leading since the wee months of 2023, and I hope it reminds you of what the Gospel truly is.

Annnndddddd.... I have some pretty exciting updates on upcoming books!! Subscribe to my email list to get all the juicy info any day now!

But for now, we'll start with adorable, baby goats.

Fresh into the year, birthing season happened.

Phew, that was full of adventures! Picture one baby goat who got stuck during birth and had to be rushed to the vet, other mamas who decided to have their babies after midnight (and some of us siblings obviously had to stay up and watch). For nearly a week, there was a new delivery every day.

We were blessed with a bunch of baby goats.

Oh, they're the happiest, cutest baby animals I've seen! The kids jump everywhere, kick up their heels, and look for every opportunity to dance! Take a picture of a goat kid, and it's the depiction of "happy."

And in the beginning of the year, that's what I was praying for:

help me walk in Your joy, Jesus

That's what I desire so much. I read verses I love, and I wanted to live them out.

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Philippians 4:4

But... I couldn't.

So I prayed. I asked for that. As newborn kids danced through winter seasons that oddly felt like spring, I asked for joy.

Instead of gleeful excitement though, the Lord took my hand and opened my eyes to the ugliness of sin in my own life.

For innumerable evils have surrounded me;

My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;

They are more than the hairs of my head;

Therefore my heart fails me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me...

Psalm 40:12-13 

 

I found my heart full of selfishness, self-pity, envy, and the likes, and it was like a garden of weeds when all I wanted was for flowers to bloom. He revealed sin that was there all along. It didn't feel like the joy of newborn ecstasy but more like the ugliness of labor pain and blood and helplessness.

I realized there was no way for Hosanna to be righteous on her own.

But it was joy.

It was the Gospel.

Because in the midst of that ugliness, in the weeds, in the sin, God revealed to me that in all that, HE IS RIGHTEOUS, and that's enough.

This passage came alive for me in a new way.

But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed... even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

Romans 3:21-26

 

I thought maybe I could be righteous, do enough good, so I could be joyful in Jesus. All along though, Jesus knew I was incapable, inept, and HE was righteous for me and suffered a horrible death to exchange my inability for His sufficiency. Today I can live in His righteousness!

Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness--by whose stripes you were healed.

1 Peter 2:24

 

 

He traded His perfection for our sins, and somehow, Jesus is at the right hand of the Father declaring that we, His children, are righteous! It's HIS righteousness and is thus secured forever, regardless of the day or moment or emotion we feel. In Jesus we can be righteous.

In fact, when Jesus returns as King to reign on the earth one day...

Now this is His name by which He will be called:

THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Jeremiah 23:6 

 

That is the Gospel, and that is how I joy.

Oh friend, our God sees all of us, the good and the ugly, and His desire is for us to rejoice in Him, to delight in Him, to praise! We have full permission to repent and believe and thus live forgiven, righteous lives because of Jesus! It's not us doing more or having a "worshipful experience" or feeling all the right emotions. This is simple truth we can bank our lives upon, because it's not our own strength but,

The joy of the LORD is our strength.

Nehemiah 8:10

I asked for joy, but God first walked me through a season of revealing sin in my life and then delightfully showed me that He has everything I need for forgiveness; I have permission to joy in Jesus!

Blessed [joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness... for they will be [completely] satisfied.

Matthew 5:6

So that's what's been churning on the other end of the blog these last months! I'm relearning that the Gospel is all about Jesus, and following Him is the happiest life. When I rest in that, yes, I could skip around like baby goats. ;)

As I slip away, I encourage you that you can be totally forgiven and joyful in Jesus, freed from your sins. The old you isn't you anymore because you're a new creation in Christ, and with the Holy Spirit in you, you can be transformed into an absolutely beautiful, treasured, gem of a soul that the Lord can use to change this world. And may you use your gifts as acts of worship to our God who loves us!

And while I've been learning, life has been beautifully (crazily) full! Spring came early, so I over-eagerly threw my garden sprigs into the wild world, and yes, my cabbage and broccoli have all but died. Oops! But I'm gardening beets (my family likes them pickled!), sugar snap peas, herbs, and am forcing myself not to plant the summery green beans, marigolds, and other produce too early. (it's so hard to waittttt!)

The season was one of training for a frisbee tournament (which we lost, but our team had the most fun). AND on Saturday I'm in a three-part race: running, boating, cycling. Eep!

And while all that's happening, there's days of working at my favorite music store, of top-secret book work *cough*, walks in flowery-spring meadows, cleaning with open windows and bare feet, and niece and nephew snuggles.

Let's chat! Do you have a similar testimony to mind? Or share what's been the theme of your year thus far, what you're excited for this summer, or a favorite memory from the last months!

((and keep your eyes peeled for upcoming book updates soon!))

shalom, shalom ♥

I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness

In the great assembly;

Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,

O LORD, You Yourself know.

Psalm 40:9

~♥~ 

future flowers, whispered war-cries is released!

 

Hello Friend!

I'm excited to say that on this cloudy, rainy, reminiscing-kind of New Year's Eve, a poetry book was born.

(future flowers, whispered war-cries is available on Amazon! Yay!)

a war is waging, and a King is coming.
thus, these poems sing.
they utter war-cries of faith for the one thick in battle.
they whisper teardrops of hope for the aching soul.
and they overflow in dancing, giggling worship because of love.
in stories and colors, emotions and beauties,
they’re an anthology drawing together to testify of the King
through heartfelt moments and
genuine truth
and in free verse and rhyme and behind-the-scenes stories.
an arsenal of indie artists are featured within their pages,
and laughingly, these more than eighty poems sing of joys to come
(like a poem with giraffes).
may every word
stir one’s heart to live for that Kingdom.

(ahh - I hope you so enjoy the poems!!!)

The word that comes to mind now is rest.

There's so much that goes into a book. I had many a night in early December that I lay awake pondering two book releases in one month and had no idea how God would do that.

And even at that moment, He already knew the ending. I just needed to trust and press on, believing.

I think that about 2022 too. At the beginning of the year, He knew every tough situation, every tearful moment, and He had a good plan for them. I sure am glad He doesn't tell us everything at once, 'cause that would have been too much for me... but throughout 12 months, He was faithful every step of the way.

To go further than just 2022... in 2020, I had many of the poems in future flowers, whispered war-cries drafted in a document. In one accidental moment, my water bottle attempted and succeeded to drown my laptop.

In that moment, all the poems were gone. Sure, I could scramble to find most in assorted journals and papers, but there were stories and moments gone, washed like when a wave visits the shore and steals every last shell. (so yes, as I drink water and write here today, my bottle is on the far side of my desk...)

But God.

He knew the ending even then. And amazingly, He restored those poems I'd nearly given up hope for.

So then and now, I hear Him whisper:

rest. trust and press on, believing.

As one of my favorite poems urges,

oh, dear heart of mine, so restlessly  

striving to patiently wait,

breathe.

do you believe in your Father,

will He not bring forth a shower?

 

 

Dear Friend, rest comes from trust. The poems are a war-cry to fight, to press on, to run for a prize, to sink our shovels deep into soil because there's a treasure, and we are going to find it.

But somehow, there's rest in that too. There's rest because we know the prize is so worth it, and He gives us His strength in our weakness, so we press on but find the sweetest love and rest in that.

Whatever 2023 has, let's trust. Let's run towards the prize. Let's believe. And let's rest because God's got this.

(and let's go read some poetry!!)

The finished book has 85 poems in it! Comment below with a number, and I'll share the title + a fun fact about the poem! Maybe it'll be your new favorite. *wink*

 

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and rehid. Then out of his joy he goes and sells everything he has and buys that field.

- Matthew 13:44

~♥~ 

Future Flowers, Whispered War-Cries || featuring Treasure Happy

 

Hello Friend!

"future flowers, whispered war-cries" releases TOMORROW. What a fun ride it's been of trusting the Lord to do something nearly impossible.

Here's a picture of that:

I just got the first proof copy in the mail today.

*laughs* Basically, when you prep a book to publish, it's vital to order a copy to make sure everything works and looks good... and then you submit it (which can take several hours to publish).

So yeah. As I type here, I'm uploading the final copy and ready to click publish!

It's late. I have no idea exactly when the book will be available to order.

But it's good. Every step has been God coming through and being faithful, so whenever tomorrow it releases (or if it's a day late...), I'm celebrating!

Keep your eyes open, because a new poetry book will be available to purchase any time now!

As we wait, here's a poem + beautiful illustration by a young artist!

Someone once told me that value is ascribed by the price someone is willing to pay.

Then he asked, "how much did God pay to rescue you?"

The answer: He gave up His own Son.

That is how valuable I am.

It blows me away. God ascribes value to this girl, and He says I was worth the death of His Son to be saved. That's the theme of this poem.

The last stanza is my favorite. May it remind you that our purpose is found in Jesus, and that's the most incredible, beautiful, and firm foundation we can build our lives upon!

 

When, four months ago, God sparked the idea to include warrior creators in this bookish adventure, I dreamed of having young artists who illustrated the poems.

And Treasure was that artist.

I read her this butterfly-themed poem aloud, gave her suggestions, and she took it away! There's something extra beautiful in the simplicity of hand-drawn flowers, a smiling sun, and clouds that look like shapes ("sometimes you see a cloud that just looks like a person," she told me!)

I'm inspired because God uses young warrior creators. I mean, I'm blown away every time I realize He chooses to use me, and His heart of love (that He says, "I ascribe value to this person) is amazing. (yet sometimes I wonder if He has an extra soft spot for little people, like how parents soften when grandbabies are born *wink* ♥) So meet the lovely Treasure:

bio:

Treasure Happy is a young artist who happily lives life with Jesus. She has a constant smile as she dances ballet, does flips around the house, dreams of being a painter, serves everyone around her, and loves math. She loves spending time with her siblings and creating in the kitchen, and if you find her at the barn, she’s cuddling her cat, Poppy.

God, however, because he is so rich in mercy, out of his deep love for us, even though we were dead in our offenses, gave us new life with the Messiah—it is by God’s gracious mercy and kindness that you have been saved...to display in the coming ages the extraordinary riches of his grace expressed in the kindness he has shown us through Messiah Jesus... as a freely-given gift...

- Ephesians 2:4-8

~♥~